Living the wrong life
by Dashed
Summary: In a war torn world Sakura is living the wrong life. No matter how hard she tries Ino can't save her but she will be there to bury her. Ino/Sakura.


Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto...

A/N This is AU i suppose although i don't think it's totally out of the question in the narutoverse. Suspend your disbelief one and all. I promise the next thing i write will be a comedy!

XxXx

Sakura coughed hard enough that she had to bend over. The blood that covered her hands was given a fresh supply as she fell to her knees and gurgled more of the red liquid. She caught herself as she slumped forward and doggedly crawled her way down the pebble dashed road. Her fingers broke and bled with the effort until she was on her belly writhing like a snake determined to go on. Her breathing was like a chainsaw in her chest ripping her lungs with agony at any movement. The harsh sound was painful to her ears but provided a focus to just, move, forward…

"You didn't even make it down the path this time," the angle said standing over her.

She looked up in awe before finally giving in to rest.

XxXx

She woke violently and clapped her hand over her mouth to keep her heart from escaping. She just managed that when she turned sharply and threw up. She flopped back onto the bare wood table on which she had been placed. Her breathing was returning to normal and she stared a long time at the wooden beams of the barn above her. She knew on either side there would be red bricked walls and through the door would be stables. She was in the work room. Tools, riding equipment and a cast iron furnace where placed orderly around the room. Ino had thoughtfully laid down saw dust to absorb the blood.

She sat up and pushed her sweat slicked hair back. It was still short after all these years though maybe not as pink. She was topless with only a pair of soft blue shorts that weren't hers covering her. Her hands traced the closed scars on her chest. The patch work of burns and cuts created an ugly landscape. Her legs were almost as bad. It was a point of pride that her face was still smooth and flawless. They said that was the mark of a good ninja.

"You're still alive," Ino noted appearing suddenly in the doorway. She was dressed in peasant clothes and her skin was tanned from long hours in the field. She still moved with the grace and silence of a killer but that was only around Sakura.

"I think you're better than me now at healing," her voice was raspy.

"You've given me a lot of practice," Ino said and she reached out to finger the fresh axe bite on her shoulder. If it had been just a little sharper it would have taken Sakura's whole arm. "How is the Imperial city this time of year?"

"Tax season is coming so it's murderous," Sakura give a gallows smile.

Childish voices screamed and laughed outside the barn and as one they turned to stare at the wall. Though there was no windows Sakura was sure that was where the sound was coming from. She looked sharply up at Ino as another voice called much nearer to the door of the room "Okaa-san?! You in here?"

Ino's face twisted darkly and she gripped the still healing wound of Sakura shoulder. Sakura hissed but took her attention away from the door and the child. "Don't you dare breath a word, I told you that you may be able to have me for an hour or a day but you won't walk in and out on her," Ino whispered venomously "I'm in the work room Rose, I'll be out in a second!" Children weren't allowed in the work room, which was probably why she was put in there.

"'Kay just wanted to tell you I'm going to the river with the Kalf!" the sound of retreating foot steps made they both relax.

"Kalf?" Sakura asked.

"Her best friend, looks a bit like a cow so…" Ino shrugged.

Sakura smiled "she has friends, I'm glad," she looked up at Ino seriously "how do you know I'm not back for good?"

"There's only one reason why a dog like you leaves her masters leash," and Ino smiled grimly, her eyes cold "…You've come home to die."

XxXx

"It seems that death is taking a long time to come to my door," she said three nights after she first woke up. Sakura had not been allowed out of the barn and confined in the small space she imagined that she could actually feel herself physically healing.

"He's never far away from you," Ino said laying a tray down on the table. "The room is needed for repairs. You are once again in the way."

Sakura sat down and began to eat the soup Ino had graciously provided. The stale bread was not the worst thing she had had to eat. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely but there was so many things she should apologise for that the words had little meaning.

Ino didn't acknowledge the words as she folded her arms and waited for Sakura to finish. "Your wounds have closed permanently and you've stopped bleeding over my floor. We can have sex when you're done," she said bluntly.

Sakura looked up at her still eating her bread. She laughed softly and went back to eating. She was an Imperial solider and had many opportunities to get laid but it was always her idea and on her terms. Or it usually was except with Ino. She nodded complacently aware that Ino was watching every bite she took impatiently.

Eventually she finished. She wiped her mouth and waved at the dishes questioningly, Ino usually brought them in and took them out. The blonde picked up the tray and sat it in the corner of the room where she thought they wouldn't upset it. Sakura looked about for the rough horse blanket that served as her bedding. It was a habit to fold and pack it away when the sun came up. After so many years she couldn't sleep after the day broke. She unfurled it and set it over the table like a fine covering.

"What are you doing?" Ino asked.

"Oh? Are we going to do it on the floor?" Sakura asked eyeing the space "you could get saw dust in awkward places."

"No, I brought another blanket," Ino said and she reached for a worn blue cover that was much thicker than Sakura's own. It was softer too she discovered after she pulled the horse blanket off the table to make room for its replacement.

"So the horse blanket is good enough for me but not you?" Sakura asked and instead of sounding angry like she would have in her youth she just sounded amused. On some campaigns she didn't even get a blanket.

"It's harder to get the smell out of it," Ino explained as she bent forward and smoothed the blanket over the table.

"I wouldn't mind if it smelt like you," Sakura said honestly moving closer. Ino straightened up and turned into her arms. Sakura unbuttoned her top and Ino shuddered as her cold hands came into contact with her skin. Ino couldn't resist anymore and kissed her desperately. She worked at the buttons of the farmer shirt that Sakura had on.

Sakura shrugged out of the shirt allowing Ino to feel that she was here. Ino sobbed into their kisses and Sakura pulled away knowingly. Ino's hand flittered over the axe wound and the newest scars before finally settling over her still beating heart. Ino grabbed her and held her close so that their flesh was pressed tightly together. She buried her face in the crook of Sakura's neck and sobbed.

Sakura stroked her hair and closed her eyes tightly. She clutched at Ino just as hard. _I'm sorry _she whispered over and over in her head.

XxXx

The Moonlight cut into the work room between the wooden beams of the roof. Their silver light haloed Ino's smooth naked back as she sat up on the table. The horse blanket was pooled at her waist and her hair was gathered over one shoulder as Sakura had broke the tie that held it back.

"I hate you," she said softly not looking at Sakura's reclining form.

Sakura was silent. She knew it wasn't true, if Ino hated her it would have been better for them both. Ino's head was bowed and her shoulders slumped in defeat. Sakura rolled to her feet and gathered Ino's clothes uncaring of her own nakedness. She folded them neatly and left them at Ino's side.

Ino looked up at her. She drew her down until their foreheads rested on each other and a tiny smile came to her lips as she repeated "I hate you."

"Rose will be wondering where you are," Sakura reminded her.

Ino took a deep breath before she nodded and got dressed. Sakura turned her back on the unasked questions between them. She held no answers.

XxXx

She could recognize a small group of armored men on horseback as easily as she recognized her reflection. Kept in the work room she only had her ears to trust. Armored men this far out from the capital either meant trouble or taxes. Which was the same thing sometimes.

"We've come to collect the toll," the rich fearless voice of a pompous middle class tax collector who thought he was better than the villagers he deducted from.

The horses shifted restlessly which meant the soldiers were too bored to keep their mounts under control.

"We give the toll to the local Shogun," Sakura's head drew up at the sound of Ino's voice. She approached the door to the work room.

"Shogun Tashika was found guilty of plotting with enemies of the empire. His riches where seized for the glory of the empire. We are here to collect tax directly from the villages," The official explained.

"We can't pay again! That bastard already took more than we could afford!" Ino said outraged.

"Refusing to pay taxes is a crime against the empire," the official sounded offended at Ino's audacity and the clanking of armor increased as the soldiers picked up on the tension. Sakura left the work room and went quickly to the barn door but didn't reveal herself yet.

"We'll starve if we give anymore crops away. This region operates on a bartering system so we don't have any money," Ino spat angrily.

"I'm not arguing with you. My men have their orders, I suggest you stand back," the official said and the distinctive sound of dismounting came. "Out of the way," the official ordered.

A cry was heard followed by the hard thump of a body hitting the packed dirt. "How dare you strike a member of the Imperial army!" the official cried outraged.

Sakura threw the door open to the sound of unsheathing weapons. She picked up a nearby saddle and launched it at a guard that was going for Ino. She had no doubt that Ino could take care of these men armored or not but it was the official she was worried about.

The action halted as they saw her in the doorway of the barn. The villagers that had gathered around Ino whispered in recognition while the soldiers growled angrily. While she had accomplished many heroic and legendary deeds she was not famous. Ninjas did not operate in the spotlight. Her reputation would not save her but the many battle scars gave the troops pause. It was enough time for them to recognize the seal tattooed over her heart. It was the same tattoo of a burning flame that would be on their generals hearts only his wouldn't have the dog's head in the middle. They knew she was someone of rank.

"Leave," She said shortly.

The official studied her carefully. He nodded jerkily glaring at her and soon he and his men left. She retreated into the workroom and Ino didn't waste time following her in.

"I told you to stay in here!" She yelled.

"They would have burned the village to the ground," Sakura said plainly.

"Word will get back to Him. He'll send for you again," Ino was nearly screaming in frustration.

"I would have had to go back eventually," Sakura said softly "I love you but my duty-"

"-Is more important I know," Ino bit out turning her back on her. "She'll know you're here now. She'll hate me for keep you from her."

"I would like to see her," Sakura said not daring to hope.

"Aren't you sick of breaking hearts Sakura?" Ino said wearily before she left her alone in the dark.

XxXx

"Sakura…?" A young voice called in the dark and Sakura relaxed in the shadows. She had hid there as soon as she heard the light trade of carefully placed footsteps. As the door to the workroom creaked slowly open she re-hung the jagged saw that she had grabbed instinctively. "Sakura!" Rose cried as she stepped forward and allowed herself to be seen.

She caught the teenager as she hurled herself into her arms. She clutched at the girl tightly, desperately, before pushing her away "let me look at you," she said her eyes working even in the darkness. The last time she had seen her she had been a bright blue eyed ten year old that could barely reach her hip. Now Rose fitted tightly under her chin. She had the gangly body of a sixteen year old and red hair that was almost brown. "You where supposed to grow while I was away pip squeak," Sakura teased rubbing the top of her head.

"I did grow!" Rose said stamping her foot petulantly then smiled and hugged her again. "I can't believe you're here! I can't believe Okaa-san didn't tell me."

"I won't be staying," she said honestly. Guilt flared in her chest at Rose's crushed expression but the girl rallied quickly "that's okay! You're a big soldier in the army, the emperor can't get along without you! I can show you the village, a lot has changed since you been away. Okaa-san is in charge now, she practically built the place."

Sakura raised her eyebrows in surprise but it made sense. Ino could always take charge of anything. "You have to tell me what you've been up too!" Rose said leading Sakura to the table and sitting down. She leant forward eagerly like a child at story time.

"Does your mother know you're here?" Sakura asked.

"I snuck out," Rose said and Sakura wondered if it was true. Had she snuck out or had Ino let her? "Come on! Tell me about your missions! I heard that the empire is expanding its eastern boarder but the Wave country is already under our dominion."

"The Wave country are our allies at present yes," Sakura nodded "the emperor is concentrating on consolidating the boarders. No expansion is planned, he's trying for an heir," she confided and Roses eyes sparkled with the imperial gossip.

"But how did you get so beat up then?" Rose said and Sakura placed her hand over her face. She didn't think her bruises were that bad. Rose gently pulled her hand away and said softly "it's the only time you come back to us."

Sakura frowned and looked away but it was true.

XxXx

She didn't leave the work room the next day no matter how much Rose pleaded. When Ino came in with her food she didn't stay. Rose visited her later that night and brought her old belongings with her. Sakura took her dark imperial uniform that had the bloodstains washed from it and the rips mended. Had Ino wondered if she would needed to be buried in them?

"I love this," Rose said smiling widely as she unsheathed the wickedly curved dagger the size of Sakura's forearm.

"Careful," Sakura said watching as the candle light was split by the dull looking blade. Shiny weapons would give her position away in the night. "The edge is sharp and coated with poison."

"When did you have it poisoned?" Rose asked as she cut the air with the blade.

"It's the emperor's personal knife. I only use it on those that have personally been ordered to suffer and die by the emperor for betraying Him. He decided to add a slow acting poison in order to torment the disloyal," Sakura said not liking how much Rose enjoyed having the weapon in her hand. She took the weapon away and sheathed it.

"I want to serve the emperor just like you," Rose beamed at her and Sakura frowned knowing that Rose thought that would make her happy.

"It's not your duty to serve Him like I do," Sakura explained "I was born in a ninja village. He bought my contract. I have no choice but to serve. I'm a weapon, you are so much more."

"But you go on fantastic adventures! You've sat at the right hand of God and had dinner with him!" Rose said earnestly "I want to be just like you Sakura! This village is too dull to stay in!"

"This village is perfect," Sakura growled becoming annoyed "I kill people Rose. I was younger than you when I killed for the first time. I watched my friends die in a war for stupid trinkets. I had to kill them because someone paid a higher price for their contract. I am not glamorous."

"You killed enemies of the empire! The bad guys! You protected our home," Rose said her eyes shining with a false light before darkening "not like Okaa-san. She's a coward. She ran away from her duty not like y-"

Sakura slammed the sheathed dagger down on the table hard. Her glare cut through the teenager and she fell back a few steps. The shadows that gathered on Sakura's face twisted her into something else. Something wicked. Vengeance. "Never speak about Ino that way."

"I'm sorry," Rose said quickly backing away.

The fear on the younger girls face made Sakura turn away in shame. "I think you should leave now," she said without turning. The door slammed closed on her fury and she was glad for her cage.

XxXx

Sakura closed her eyes as peace thudded softly onto her face. She stood in the yard just as the sun had gone down. The dark clouds that had been threatening rain all day had finally delivered and torrents of hot rain thunder downwards to earth. She stood in her borrowed closed with her arms stretched wide to embrace the weather.

The smell of fresh earth and stillness was the best healing she could hope for. She breathed deeply, consuming the memories that the rain brought just as thickly as the torrent. "I'm sorry," she said without opening her eyes "I promised I wouldn't leave the work room but…I was stationed in the imperial city for months and in the earth country before that. It doesn't rain there, not like this, like home."

"There's no point of you going back to the work room. Everyone knows you're here now and we do need the space for repairs," Ino said.

Sakura rolled her head towards Ino who was getting soaked just like her. She smiled softly feeling much younger standing in the dark, in the rain. The earth below her was crumbling into mud and she regretted putting shoes on. She wanted to feel the earth between her toes. "Have you ever made love in the rain?"

"That's how we did it the first time," Ino grinned walking into Sakura's embrace.

"I forgot," Sakura said nosing Ino's blonde hair just behind her ear. "It must not have been that memorable."

"You weren't, you got jaw cramp," Ino quipped and Sakura laughed freely.

XxXx

"And over here is the bakery! He does really great sweets! The fields are just outside the village. That's where Okaa-san is but they're boring. Come on I have to show you the trendy dress makers not the place Okaa-san shops," Rose dragged her by the hand through the village.

Sakura barely recognized any of it. There had only been a few houses and many fields the last time she had been here. Now a village had sprung up all because of Ino. "Okaa-san tills the fields?" Sakura said finding old humor in that.

"Yeah she's like the mayor but works in the fields with the other farmers," Rose rolled her eyes not impressed. She was jerked to a stop as Sakura suddenly became unmovable.

The old circular building sagged under the weight of the past looking lost in the new village. The rusted doors with faded red paint still hung rigidly on their hinges. They seemed to be a barricade to the new world but Sakura found herself drawn closer.

"Yeah, that's like the oldest building in the village. I thought you would know about it," Rose said staying behind Sakura. She didn't like the odd building that was made with steel instead of wood and brick like the rest of the village.

"The village hadn't spread this far back then," Sakura answered absently. She lifted her hand up and it hovered over the double doors uncertainly. "You don't know what this place is…"

_But Sakura I'm injured!_

_Can it Naruto, the people in here are actually sick! They're not trying to scam off D rank missions!_

She actually turned and was surprised that Naruto wasn't whining behind her. Her fingers closed into a fist and she took her hand away. She didn't belong in there anymore than she belonged in the sunlit street.

XxXx

"I saw the hospital today," Sakura said sitting on the edge of the double bed in Ino's modest room. Ino didn't pause as she hung up her clothes in the oak dresser and began to wash. Sakura knew that Ino understood what hospital she was talking about.

"There's only a few buildings left from the Konoha that we know," Ino said with her back to Sakura. Sakura stared out the window and down onto the street that was alien to her. "I at first wanted to keep the rebuilding away from the ruins but more people kept coming and that was the only direction we could build in that wouldn't ruin the crops or cut down the tilled land."

"What are the other buildings that remain?" Sakura asked but didn't really want to know. Ino wouldn't answer her and she was glad. Ino slipped into a nightdress and turned to face Sakura who was staring at her hand.

"I've never seen you look so small before…" she said gently.

"I'm a life time away from the girl that worked at that hospital," Sakura said softly to the dark.

"And I'm a life time away from the girl that hated the girl in the hospital," Ino said getting into bed.

"But you're a better life than I am," Sakura said and Ino didn't argue.

XxXx

A week passed before the imperial messenger rode up on his gilded stallion. He stopped short in the main square and would talk to no one. He sat proud and erect in his seat and wouldn't deign to make eye contact with the curious villagers.

Sakura walked forward from the crowd and he extended a scroll with the imperial crest. "Honored servant of the Emperor," he said respectfully "his highness commands you to return to his side. He bestows words of pleasure at your health and grants a compliment to your impressive fortitude."

Sakura bowed and repeated "This servant is pleased to have done her duty and will return to his highness side."

"A royal uniform is granted to you and a parade will be thrown upon your home coming," the messenger said sounding slightly impressed at the gifts that meant nothing to Sakura.

She nodded humbly and accepted the gifts. The village cheered at her honor forgetting the tax collector already. She felt Ino's coldness on her back but when she turned Ino had gone.

"It seems your master has called you home," Ino said as she packed her things into a sack.

"My leash is being retrieved," Sakura nodded fitting the curved dagger to her belt. She was in her patched black uniform. The new one was placed in the sack to be worn when she got to the imperial city. It had a mask so that she may be celebrated but her face would not become famous. A known ninja would lose all advantage.

"Rose is planning to go back with you," Ino glared.

"I won't let her," she promised.

Ino stared intensely at her in silence. Eventually she had no more to pack and all there was left was the void between them. She wasn't allowed to say goodbye. She didn't even want to.

"He'll give you a gift," Ino stated with intensity.

"Land, riches, titles," Sakura's lips quirked upwards in a pale imitation of humor "a concubine?"

"Don't take it," Ino said fiercely moving away from the doorway and deeper into the room. She picked up Sakura's pack and handed it to her. "You don't have the right to take something that rightfully belongs to me."

Sakura took the pack with infinite sadness. She nodded and spoke quietly "I'm going to leave now," she informed Ino "you better go." It broke Ino's heart to see her walk away so she usually left first. Sakura shouldered her pack and waited for Ino to leave first.

"No," Ino said firmly "not this time. I won't move, so you know that it's under your own power that you leave. So that you know that you're the one that's walking away."

Sakura rocked back at the words as they chained themselves like weights around her chest. She brought her arm up to reach out to Ino and her hand brushed against the imperial scroll on the table. She stopped mid motion and turned in the direction her leash was tugging her towards.

XxXx

Multicolored paper littered the air as trumpets blared the masked hero. The imperial level was sat high on top of an elephant and Sakura stood above the masses adoration. The personal body guards of the emperor escorted her to the palace steps as the throng cheered for a hero that did their dirty work for them.

Leering faces gaped up in awe and amazement as the poor followed into the richer parts of the city. Lords, ladies and titled stood on balconies nearly level with the imperial platform. The threw flowers or trinkets that fell ignored all about the platform showering Sakura's footsteps in gold and silver. The crowd clamored to catch any gift that fell from the heavens roaring and screaming like animals. The trumpets blared into the air trying in vain to assert dignity over the mob.

At the head of the Imperial Palace stood a lone figure. His ornamental headdress was as ornate as a peacocks feathers and He was haloed in sunlight. His long majestic robes of scarlet where untouched by confetti that curtained the air. On either side of Him the deep shadows of the palace held many guards and secret weapons coiled and ready. The noble beast was beat until it was made to knell and Sakura descended the golden ladder onto the red carpeted stairs before she too knelt at the feet of her Master.

A lithe pale hand emerged from a long overflowing sleeve and the jungle held its breath as it rested like an iron glove on Sakura's bowed head. "I am pleased," the deadly whisper struck the air.

XxXx

In the throne room sequestered in the dark the emperor allowed Sakura to stand in his presence. He rested on a raised dais attended by concubines and hidden by a thin paper screen. The imposing size and richness of the room was an empty echo as they were the only life in it. "I have decided," said the grazed voice of God "to bestow upon you the ultimate and final gift."

A servant entered humbly from the side and presented a box of granite. The servant opened the grey box to reveal a black butterfly clip. Sakura turned her head to look at it and swallowed hard.

"To die remembering all that you have done in my service, am I not a benevolent God?" the emperor smiled deeply as a concubine pushed back the thin screen. "I will allow you to gaze upon my glory so that you know the greatest sight before you go to my celestial house."

Sakura only trembled slightly as she picked up the clip. It was the most dignified way to die for a ninja. She would not die by a younger more skilled hand or crawling brokenly through human waste on an unknown battle field. She would be exalted and honored. She would have fulfilled her duty. She bowed her head and slammed the clip over her heart.

The pain was immediate and she fell to her knees. Tears ran from her eyes and blood trickled from her nose as she began to convulse all over. The jutsu woven into the clip dragged her memories through her mind until they flashed brightly before her eyes like a movie. When the film ends so would she.

XxXx


End file.
